April Showers

I had the honor of giving a bridal and baby shower devotional, last month.  One of the college ladies is getting married in a couple of weeks, and then another young lady at church is having her first baby!  I think the devotional is my favorite part of a shower, so I was very happy to give them.  I used to enjoy the games the most, but now I realize the importance of Godly words from Godly women who have gone through what I'm going through before me.  So it's exciting to be in a position where I can share some of what the Lord has taught me with these young ladies.

D's bridal shower was first and I choose to title my devotion "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."  I didn't focus too much on that last area since you get a whole other shower once your at that point.  

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes the Baby in the Baby Carriage

      I.     “First Comes Love” – Love with God’s Love

What is God’s Love?

*  Unconditional, unchanging

*  Not motivated by emotions or senses

How do you get God’s Love?

*  Through the Holy Spirit

*  Titus 2:4 = lean from other Godly women

*  Choose to be in Christ and love with His love.

- 1 John 4:8 = because your feelings have been corrupted by your old life, before Christ, not letting your emotions lead you takes practice and training.  God is love, so consistent time with the Lord (i.e. prayer, bible study, Christian fellowship) is how you will learn to love with God’s love and not your carnal love.

How do you maintain God’s Love?

*  Romans 5:8 =If you are in Christ then you will love Davis based on the choice you made (to be in Christ and let His love flow from you) rather than how Davis is acting.  Letting the latter drive your love for your spouse is what leads to disharmony, because there will be many times their actions disappoint us.  God’s love wasn’t based upon what we had done for Him or what we deserved, but upon His choice to love us.  We can choose to receive God’s kind of love and then give it to our spouse.  It’s a choice!  Unconditional.  Not base upon anything they do or don’t do.

    II.     “Then Comes Marriage”

- ChineseIllustration-Why do we wear our wedding ring on our 4^th finger?

Where did marriage come from?

*  Very few things in our world today were ever part of God’s perfect plan for man.

*  Genesis 2:24 = Marriage, however, was one thing that God established while man was still in a sinless condition.

*  Genesis 2:18 = Adam didn’t have the pressures and problems of our world today and he didn’t ask God for Eve.  God initiated the whole thing because it was part of His perfect plan.  Marriage is a high priority to God and should be in your life too!

*  2 Corinthians 10:12 = God instituted marriage, so He knows how it should work.  Don’t look to the world or other couples as your model or measure for a successful marriage, look to Christ.

What is marriage?

*  Malachi 2:14; Proverbs 2:16-17 = It’s a covenant, not a contract.

*  A covenant is based on trust between parties.  A contract is based on distrust.

*  A covenant is based on unlimited responsibility.  A contract is based on limited liability.

*  A covenant cannot be broken if new circumstances occur.  A contract can be voided by mutual consent.  Therefore, the marriage covenant is a permanent commitment.

Why is marriage important?

*  Ephesians 5:22-33; Revelation 21:2,9 = To provide the world with a picture of God’s love for His bride (believers/the church).

*  Marriage is a means of serving and glorifying God.

Secondary Blessings

*  Once you embrace God’s primary purpose for marriage, to glorify Him and demonstrated His love, you will encounter numerous secondary blessings.

~  Companionship (Amos 3:3)

~  Enjoyment (Heb. 13:4)

~  Fruitfulness (Gen. 1:28; 1 Pet. 3:7)

~ Protection (Eph. 5:25; Titus 2:4-5; Malachi 2:15; Psalm 112:1-2)

* Placing secondary purposes for marriage above the primary purpose leads to discontentment, fearfulness and disillusionment.  You are setting yourself up to be disappointed.  For example, making fruitfulness your primary purpose will lead to devastation if you can’t bear children of your own.  Making companionship or enjoyment your primary purpose of marriage will lead to desiring fulfillment through other relationships or outlets not met by your husband.  If you desire security and protection above all you may feel fearful or insecure when finances are constrained and resources limited.

*  Maintaining a Godly perspective of the purpose of marriage provides the foundation for a successful marriage.  Marriage becomes a spiritual endeavor rather than being dependent on our circumstances.

  III.     “Then comes the baby in the baby carriage”

*  your love gets divided

*  those beautiful little beings demand your focus and attention.

*  Remember to always come back to your foundation (Christ), which will help refocus you and your husband and better demonstrate Christ’s love to your children.

*  Even before having kids, your schedules might be busy with work and social events.  Always make time for each other; weekly date nights (in or out), do nice things for each other without expecting something in return, etc.

   IV.     Give Denice notebook and pray. (I made a cute "Newlywed survival notebook" for her.  I put some cute pictures of her and Davis, date night ideas, this devotion, and other fun newlywed resources.)

The next shower was a couple weeks later and it was a baby shower for Bethany.  She and her husband are having a baby boy!  

I knit her this baby blanket and attached minky fabric to the backside for extra texture and softness.

Then, I made her some homemade diaper rash cream and homemade baby wipes.

I had been turning old dvd cases into this, and I love finding new uses for old things, so I took that same concept and used the case to hold "Letters to Bethany".  She's an artist, so I thought she would enjoy the cute case and I printed the letters on cute cardstock.  "Letters to Bethany" was my theme for her devotion.  I thought that she could read these once Everhett is here when she needs some encouragement or a reminder that she's not all alone in all this.  When I gave the devotion at the shower I added some examples of times when I experienced these emotions.  It's pretty awesome to reflect on how the Lord has grown me in Godly maturity from baby number one to baby number four (and I look forward to more growth as the days come and go).

Dear I’m overwhelmed and need help…

       Psalm 61:2 “From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

       Good cry vs. bad cry.  The Lord wants you to be open and vulnerable with Him.  He tells you to cry out to Him for help.  Turn your focus towards the Lord and get it out, away from your self.  He doesn’t want you to mask your emotions and let your circumstances overcome you.  Your refuge won’t be found internally, but externally.  Let the Lord lead you to the Rock (Jesus) where you will find your help and safety.  Notice that He will lead you higher, away from the floodwaters that overwhelm you.  When you try to do everything yourself you stay in the floodwaters, working hard to paddle through the storm.  He can lead you to a place of rest and safety.  Cry out to the Lord for help and let Him lead you out of the storm.  Allow the Lord and other people to help you.

 Dear I need a break…

       Psalm 32:7 “You are my hiding place. You protect me from trouble. You surround me with joyous songs of salvation.

       3 mom breaks:

1.     A break with yourself.  Sometimes you need to set the baby down and go somewhere away from the crying or fussing just to take a breath and refocus on the Lord.  A quick prayer, a quick cry to Him, and a few deep breaths can really help you regroup.

2.   A break with the Lord.  This is a good habit to get into now.  Spending regular time with the Lord in word and prayer will fill your tank with His strength for those moments when you need a break.  When Everhett older, it will be good for him to see you spending time with the Lord.

3.    A break with a friend.  Grab a cuppa, have a friend over, email a friend, talk on the phone or whatever works for you. 

 Dear I’m in love…

       Psalm 127: 3-5 “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”

       Enjoy your little man.  Snuggle him and love on him as much as you can.  Don’t listen to people who say you are going to spoil him if you hold him too much.  Many other cultures hold their babies close to their bodies throughout the day and I would encourage you to take a look at them.  That closeness, as in your own relationship with the Lord, will produce a sense of safety and confidence as he grows and develops.  Everhett won’t be strapped to you forever, so enjoy each phase as much as you can and follow your natural instinct.

 Dear I’m tired…

       Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

       Everyone says, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”  Personally, I never wanted to do that, even though I was exhausted, because there were always chores to do and I didn’t want to use all my free time to sleep.  Hopefully, you will be smarter than me and take that advice.  These moments would be a good time to utilize your friends and family who want to help you.  Allow them to bring you a meal, do your laundry, or hold the baby while you take a rest.  Don’t clean before they come over to help, that is why they are coming over, to do that cleaning or cooking for you.

 Dear I feel inadequate…

       2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”

       You are already a success in Christ.  In your weakness, He is made strong.  Let His power work through you when you feel like a failure.  What you view as a failure, He might see as an opportunity to shine His love down on Everhett and those around you.

 Dear I want my mom…

       Proverbs 23:22 “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”

The parent child relationship is an example of the one between Christ and the church.  Even though your role changes with your mother as you grown, marry, become a mom, etc., she doesn’t stop being your mom.  It is okay and good to still want your mom’s support and encouragement.  She has been through what you are about to enter, so it is wise to seek her wisdom and experience.  Don’t be afraid to reach out to your mom as you learn how to be a mom yourself.

 Dear Everhett’s mom…

       Psalm 139:13 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.”

       You have the honor of being the vessel God chose to create Everhett in, and soon, you get to take care of him outside the womb.  I encourage you to start praying for him spiritually, physically and emotionally, if you haven’t already.  The most valuable thing you can do for him is to grow in your own walk with the Lord and pint him towards Christ.  You have the most amazing and important role in his life.  You are going to know this little man and spend the most time with him.  Don’t leave the most important aspect of his life, his relationship with Christ, to the hands of someone else. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6.  Nothing matters more on this earth or can show him how much you love him more than caring for his spiritual life.

 Words of advice:

“Babies are not polite, they will let you know when they need something.”  (My mom’s advice in response to “should I wake the baby?  She’s been sleeping a long time.”)  Babies need a lot of sleep, they just went through a lot and their little bodies are rapidly developing and changing. 

“Have a cup of tea, talk to a friend, and then get back to work.”  (My Grandma’s advice for getting through the tasks of the day)  Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

  

Jewels for Jesus

This past Saturday, I had the privilege of sharing a devotional at our Women's Fellowship meeting.    

I have always wanted to dye my hair pink, so I got pink strands.
We were learning how to put sparkly hair strands in our hair, so I chose a diamond themed devotional.

I made each lady a bookmark with a "Diamond" acronym on the back (see the end of this blog).

What is your engagement story?  Brad and I had been dating for about 3 months when he took me to a fancy dinner at the Broker, in Denver.  Of course, it was a wonderful dinner.  Afterwards, we drove back up to Fort Collins and were walking around Old Town.  When we passed in front of Austin's restaurant, where we had our first date, Brad got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.  Yes!  Then, we headed to the wine bar next door, Ciao Vino's, to celebrate with champagne and strawberries.  It was a wonderful night and has been a wonderful 8 and half years.

Jer. 9:7 "...I will refine and test them..."
Isa 1:25 "...I will thoroughly purge away your dross."

Fire is always used for purging, for burning up the impurities found in precious metals and stones.  Let's take a look at how diamonds are made, a brief geography lesson.:)

• they are under incredible pressure and intense heat deep within the Earth's surface.
• they are carried to the surface through volcanic eruptions via kimberlite magmas.
• both diamond and graphite (which is the stable form of carbon at the Earth's surface) are made of carbon.
• in contrast, diamond is the hardest gem while graphite is the softest.  Odd?
• to prevent diamond from converting to graphite, they must be transported to the Earth's surface extremely fast.
• diamond hardness comes from the carbon atoms being linked together in a 3-dimensional network.
• whereas, graphite atoms are linked into loose sheets, sliding past each other easily
• when cutting, diamond dust must be used to cut diamonds since they are the hardest known substance.
• diamonds are cut precisely to maximize the brilliance and fire (the rainbows and glints of color) of the stone.  the placement of each facet around the diamond and the table on top are carefully measured and cut to take advantage of the prism effect and let the diamond sparkle.
• the presence of any blemishes, flaws, scratches or nicks effect the diamonds clarity.

How is Christ like a Diamond?

• He underwent incredible pain and pressure to bring us a beautiful gift...salvation.
• He is omnipotent; having infinite and unlimited power.
• He is the only thing strong enough to "cut" us.
• the Trinity is linked together in One.

How are we like diamonds?

• we have times when we feel like we're under incredible pressure and intense heat.
• many of us go through some turbulent journeys that feel like volcanic eruptions.
• we are made up of the same stuff as non-believers, but held together and refined by God.
• Christ cleansed us of all our impurities by dieing on the cross.
• Phil. 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  In Christ, we become mighty, whereas we were soft and weak before.
• We are cut by the Master Craftsman to sparkle and reflect the light of Christ to the maximum.
• Our impurities and sins effect the scale of our clarity, but God's refining fire can purge away our dross.

engagement ring

sweet 16 ring

Diamonds can also be an heirloom that you pass down from generation to generation.  My engagement ring diamond is Brad's grandma Maston's.  I never met her, but the diamond feels special and loved.  My mom gave me a diamond ring on my sweet 16 that her mom had given her and my grandma's mom had given her.  I'm looking forward to passing that on as well. 

How much more important, though, is our faith and salvation to pass down?  The definition of heritage is "something that comes or belongs to one by reason of birth; an inherited lot or portion."  When we believe that Christ is our Lord and Savior and accept His salvation, we are born again.  Jesus Christ is our heritage to be passed down from generation to generation.

How can we pass down this inheritance?

• allow Christ to "cut" the lines in you the way He as our Maker wants.  Then, we will reflect His light to the maximum in our lives.
• maintenance.  Don't forget to "clean" yourself, as I've done with my ring.  I have let gunk and dirt build up around my diamond, making the shine and sparkle dull.  Regular "cleaning/maintenance" will keep dirt from building up in us, allowing Christ to be reflected in our lives.
• even if we've let some dirt build up, we can always come to the Lord and He will shine us up.  He will do the work.  We just have to be willing to sit and rest in Him and let Him chip away all that dirt.  He will never neglect us, as I've done with my diamond.  John 15:4 "Abide in Me and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me."

My mom just recently, within the past few years, got a diamond ring.  She didn't have an engagement ring.  It's never too late to become a diamond.  God's love and salvation is eternal and unbound.  It is a precious gem that He is giving to us for free, transforming us into Diamond Reflections of Christ's love, glory, grace and mercy.

• D- Delight In The Lord
"Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." Psalm 37:4
• I- Increase In Love
"And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men,
• A- Abide In Christ
"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." John 15:5
• M- Minister To Others
"Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality." Romans 12:13
• O- Obey God's Word
"And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments." 1 John 2:3
• N- Never Give Up
"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1,2
• D- Die To Self
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

Dear Lord, we are diamonds in the rough and need You and Your sacrifice on the cross to make us shine.  I pray that You would help all of us to be in regular, daily communion/relationship with You so that we can feel like Your beautiful and precious treasures and sparkle for You daily.  We love You and thank You for Your death and resurrection so that we can one day be in the presence of our Master Craftsman.  Amen.

(Diamond acronym from http://www.juliabettencourt.com/dev/diamondsdev.html)

Deborah

This past Thursday was our Women's Bible Study group. The ladies have graciously agreed to meet at my house so that I can still watch the kids and Brad can continue working, rather than taking half a day off to come home. The kids were great! Aria and Finn napped while Cadence watched "Care Bears", or as she likes to call them, "The Carenstein Bears" (like "The Berenstein Bears"). Pat, the lady who usually leads the group, is taking a few weeks off due to losing her husband and moving. So, I volunteered to step in as facilitator for the time being. I was so excited, after preparing for the study, that I got to start off by leading the study on the topic of Deborah. Do you know much about her? I didn't. In fact, Esther used to be my favorite woman in the Bible, but now Deborah is. She is an amazing example of what it means to take the supportive and submissive role as a woman/wife/mother and be powerful in the Lord. A brief summary, Deborah was a judge and prophetess in Israel. People would come to her for advice and God's guidance. The reason Deborah was in this leadership role was not because she was trying to be stronger than the men, but because no men where stepping up to lead, so the Lord called her to do it. The cool thing about this, though, was that she stepped up to the task with the attitude of trying to lead and guide the men back into their leadership roles. She was a leader, but she was still supporting the men and always encouraging them in the leadership roles that the Lord made for them, never trying to take over or push out the men. Many women, especially today's liberal feminists, may think this is weak. That women are just as strong as men and can and should be able to do anything they do. I see Deborah as powerful! It can be hard to support and submit and not going around boasting about all the things you did, but that is what she did. Yes, people came to her for advice and direction, but at the end of it all, the people followed Barak, the male leader whom Deborah walked along side and supported in his leadership role. Then, as a result of their defeat of the Canaanites, more men had faith in the Lord and reclaimed their leadership roles. All this because a wife and mom had enough faith to follow the Lord and obey what He said.

Bridal Devotional

A couple of weeks ago I was asked to give the devotional at the bridal shower of one of our church members. At first, I was a bit nervous and unsure. I was afraid I wouldn't have enough time to prepare and I didn't know what I would talk about since I had never given a devotional of any kind before. Of course, the power of the Lord's Word speaks for itself, but I wasn't so sure about the vessel that would be delivering it. After some direction from Nancy Peterman and Brad, I had a lot of fun preparing the following devotional.

Bridal Devotional

Ephesians 5:21-24

I. Read Passage

II. Christ First

· Read vs. 21-22

· Our relationships are all in connection to our relationship with Christ. He is what is most important. To love your husband, you must first and continually love and build your relationship with Christ. It is through that relationship that we learn how to love and treat our husbands. When I am not in constant communion with the Lord, it is impossible for me to be in proper communion and relationship with my husband. If we don’t put into practice our relationship with the one who loves us unconditionally, is always there for us and never lets us down, how can we possibly show our husbands the respect and submission they deserve and treat them the way Christ tells us to?

III. Foundation

· Vs. 21 “out of reverence for Christ”

· Our actions and love towards our husband is not based on or reliant on how they treat us first, but are a reflection of our relationship with Christ. Husbands will frustrate us and let us down at times, as we will them, but Christ never will. So, if our marriage is anchored on Him, it will never sink, no matter what storms hit us.

IV. Submit

· These versus mention the word “submit” often.

· Today, many people think of submission as weak. On the contrary, it is a beautiful and strong word. We get the honor of supporting our husbands and being their helper. Submission is kind of a taboo word in regards to our modern American roles. It does not equal doormat. Look at all these strong, beautiful, Godly women around you. They have grown strong through their submission to the Lord and their husbands. Through our submission we not only get strength, but we honor our husbands and push them up, giving them room to be the head you desire. This also helps to increase their self-esteem and feelings of being loved, without making them feel like they are in this alone or fighting against you. God didn’t create woman (Eve) so that man (Adam) would have someone to boss around, but for companionship. Just like in those cooking shows I like to watch, the sous-chef can make or break the head chef.

V. Good or Evil

· This all reminds me of that scene in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. The mom says, “The man may be the head, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head anyway she wants.” This is so true. We do have a lot of influence and power. We could manipulate our submission to be deceptive, like they did in the movie to get what they wanted, or we can use it to glorify the Lord, lift our husbands up and help spur them on towards Christ. My high school swim coach once told me, “Behind every successful man is a strong woman.” This is another reason why our relationship with Christ needs to be first and continual. In Christ, we will want the best for our husbands and will reflect His love. Apart from Christ, we will begin to manipulate the head away from Christ. We saw this in the Garden of Eden between Adam and Eve. Sometimes I think women have a bigger role than men, because without that strong, Godly support at home, it would be a lot harder to keep their eyes on Christ.

VI. Give It Your All

· Vs. 24 “submit to their husbands in everything”

· Not just when he does things the way you say or like, but in everything. This can be hard, but we have to be careful not to emasculate our husbands (society has already emasculated their role). We need to lift our husbands up in prayer and allow them to be the man God created them to be. I’ve met several women who are believers but their husbands are not. My friend, Janet, in Korea had this situation in her marriage, yet she didn’t put her husband down or try to step over him. She focused on strengthening her own personal walk with the Lord and prayed for him. Whether our husbands are believers or not, this is the most important thing we can do for them to demonstrate our love.

Ø Recommended books: “Love Dare” and “The Power of a Praying Wife”

After giving the above devotional I ended with an object lesson, which was also my gift.

1. Cookbook
   Put in the right ingredients for your marriage. Make your home a godly home. Fill it with compassion, devotion, submission, joy, respect, and above all, love.



2. Strainer.
   
   Work at keeping the bad stuff out of your own personal life so that it doesn't affect your marriage. Don't let any bad thoughts and deeds slip in that could potentially harm your marriage. Keep in God's Word. Dedicate yourself to prayer.



3. Kitchen Timer (or egg timer).
   
   Make time for your spouse, even if you have to schedule it in on your calendar. Don't be ships passing in the night. You don't grow healthy relationships that way as husband and wife.



4. Rolling Pin.
   
   Keep the dough of your marriage and family life rolled out and smooth. When things come up that cause some lumps in the dough, take care of it right away. Don't let things fester.



5. Meat Baster.
   
   Add that extra juice in to keep your marriage moist. Don't let your marriage dry out. Make a habit of telling your husband you love him. Kiss him hello and goodbye. Write him notes. Do anything you can to keep that relationship fresh with your spouse.



6. Meat Mallet.
   
   It takes work to keep your marriage tender. Marriage is giving 100% from both the wife and the husband. Be determined to work at your marriage and relationship with your husband everyday by the words you say, the deeds you do, and by the thoughts you think. Just keep pounding away to give your marriage your best.
7. Spice Jar

Write nice and unexpected things you can do for your spouse on slips of paper and put them in the jar. Grab a slip of paper every now and then and do what it says to help keep your marriage spicy!

The pug journal is what I write all of my "church" ideas in, so that's what I wrote this devotional in. The pages above the journal and Bible are to show you what I scribbled my first draft on. Like I said, I was worried I wouldn't have enough time to prepare it due to 3 kids, one of which I have to hold a lot, thus occupying my hands. So, I ended up writing most of it during church while the kids were in Sunday school and Aria was asleep in her car seat....sorry Brad. Really, it's a compliment, because Brad's teaching inspired me.

Peek-a-boo!

I carried all my devotional props in this empty diaper box. When I returned home from the shower, Cadence and Finn immediately hopped in. No, really, that looks comfy.