I had the honor of giving a bridal and baby shower devotional, last month. One of the college ladies is getting married in a couple of weeks, and then another young lady at church is having her first baby! I think the devotional is my favorite part of a shower, so I was very happy to give them. I used to enjoy the games the most, but now I realize the importance of Godly words from Godly women who have gone through what I'm going through before me. So it's exciting to be in a position where I can share some of what the Lord has taught me with these young ladies.
D's bridal shower was first and I choose to title my devotion "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage." I didn't focus too much on that last area since you get a whole other shower once your at that point.
First Comes Love, Then Comes
Marriage, Then Comes the Baby in the Baby Carriage
I. “First
Comes Love” – Love with God’s Love
What is God’s Love?
* Unconditional, unchanging
* Not motivated by emotions or senses
How do you get God’s Love?
* Through the Holy Spirit
* Titus
2:4 = lean from other Godly women
* Choose to be in Christ and love with His love.
- 1
John 4:8 = because your feelings have been corrupted by your old life,
before Christ, not letting your emotions lead you takes practice and
training. God is love, so
consistent time with the Lord (i.e. prayer, bible study, Christian fellowship)
is how you will learn to love with God’s love and not your carnal love.
How do you
maintain God’s Love?
* Romans
5:8 =If you are in Christ then you will love Davis based on the choice
you made (to be in Christ and let His love flow from you) rather than how Davis
is acting. Letting the latter
drive your love for your spouse is what leads to disharmony, because there will
be many times their actions disappoint us. God’s love wasn’t based upon what we had done for Him or
what we deserved, but upon His choice to love us. We can choose to receive God’s kind of love and then give it
to our spouse. It’s a choice! Unconditional. Not base upon anything they do or don’t
do.
II. “Then
Comes Marriage”
Where did marriage come from?
* Very few things in our world today were ever
part of God’s perfect plan for man.
* Genesis
2:24 = Marriage, however, was one thing that God established while man
was still in a sinless condition.
* Genesis
2:18 = Adam didn’t have the pressures and problems of our world today
and he didn’t ask God for Eve. God
initiated the whole thing because it was part of His perfect plan. Marriage is a high priority to God and
should be in your life too!
* 2
Corinthians 10:12 = God instituted marriage, so He knows how it should
work. Don’t look to the world or
other couples as your model or measure for a successful marriage, look to
Christ.
What is marriage?
* Malachi
2:14; Proverbs 2:16-17
= It’s a covenant, not a contract.
* A covenant is based on trust between
parties. A contract is based on
distrust.
* A covenant is based on unlimited
responsibility. A contract is
based on limited liability.
* A covenant cannot be broken if new circumstances
occur. A contract can be voided by
mutual consent. Therefore, the
marriage covenant is a permanent commitment.
Why is marriage important?
* Ephesians
5:22-33; Revelation
21:2,9 = To provide the world with a picture of God’s love for His bride
(believers/the church).
* Marriage is a means of serving and glorifying
God.
Secondary Blessings
* Once you embrace God’s primary purpose for
marriage, to glorify Him and demonstrated His love, you will encounter numerous
secondary blessings.
~ Companionship (Amos 3:3)
~ Enjoyment (Heb. 13:4)
~ Fruitfulness (Gen. 1:28; 1 Pet. 3:7)
~ Protection (Eph. 5:25; Titus 2:4-5; Malachi
2:15; Psalm 112:1-2)
* Placing secondary purposes for marriage above
the primary purpose leads to discontentment, fearfulness and
disillusionment. You are setting
yourself up to be disappointed.
For example, making fruitfulness your primary purpose will lead to
devastation if you can’t bear children of your own. Making companionship or enjoyment your primary purpose of
marriage will lead to desiring fulfillment through other relationships or
outlets not met by your husband.
If you desire security and protection above all you may feel fearful or
insecure when finances are constrained and resources limited.
* Maintaining a Godly perspective of the purpose
of marriage provides the foundation for a successful marriage. Marriage becomes a spiritual endeavor
rather than being dependent on our circumstances.
III. “Then
comes the baby in the baby carriage”
* your love gets divided
* those beautiful little beings demand your focus
and attention.
* Remember to always come back to your foundation
(Christ), which will help refocus you and your husband and better demonstrate
Christ’s love to your children.
* Even before having kids, your schedules might be
busy with work and social events.
Always make time for each other; weekly date nights (in or out), do nice
things for each other without expecting something in return, etc.
IV. Give
Denice notebook and pray. (I made a cute "Newlywed survival notebook" for her. I put some cute pictures of her and Davis, date night ideas, this devotion, and other fun newlywed resources.)
The next shower was a couple weeks later and it was a baby shower for Bethany. She and her husband are
having a baby boy!
I knit her this baby blanket and attached minky fabric to the backside for extra texture and softness.
Then, I made her some homemade diaper rash cream and homemade baby wipes.
I had been turning old dvd cases into
this, and I love finding new uses for old things, so I took that same concept and used the case to hold "Letters to Bethany". She's an artist, so I thought she would enjoy the cute case and I printed the letters on cute cardstock. "Letters to Bethany" was my theme for her devotion. I thought that she could read these once Everhett is here when she needs some encouragement or a reminder that she's not all alone in all this. When I gave the devotion at the shower I added some examples of times when I experienced these emotions. It's pretty awesome to reflect on how the Lord has grown me in Godly maturity from baby number one to baby number four (and I look forward to more growth as the days come and go).
Dear I’m
overwhelmed and need help…
Psalm 61:2
“From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed:
lead me to the rock that is
higher than I.”
Good cry
vs. bad cry. The Lord wants you to
be open and vulnerable with Him.
He tells you to cry out to Him for help. Turn your focus towards the Lord and get it out, away from
your self. He doesn’t want you to
mask your emotions and let your circumstances overcome you. Your refuge won’t be found internally,
but externally. Let the Lord lead
you to the Rock (Jesus) where you will find your help and safety. Notice that He will lead you higher,
away from the floodwaters that overwhelm you. When you try to do everything yourself you stay in the
floodwaters, working hard to paddle through the storm. He can lead you to a place of rest and
safety. Cry out to the Lord for
help and let Him lead you out of the storm. Allow the Lord and other people to help you.
Dear I need
a break…
Psalm 32:7
“You are my hiding place. You protect me from trouble. You surround me with
joyous songs of salvation.
3 mom
breaks:
1. A break with yourself. Sometimes you need to set the baby down
and go somewhere away from the crying or fussing just to take a breath and
refocus on the Lord. A quick
prayer, a quick cry to Him, and a few deep breaths can really help you regroup.
2. A break with the Lord. This is a good habit to get into
now. Spending regular time with
the Lord in word and prayer will fill your tank with His strength for those
moments when you need a break.
When Everhett older, it will be good for him to see you spending time
with the Lord.
3. A break with a friend. Grab a cuppa, have a friend over, email
a friend, talk on the phone or whatever works for you.
Dear I’m in
love…
Psalm 127:
3-5 “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like
arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is
the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they
contend with their opponents in court.”
Enjoy your
little man. Snuggle him and love
on him as much as you can. Don’t
listen to people who say you are going to spoil him if you hold him too much. Many other cultures hold their babies
close to their bodies throughout the day and I would encourage you to take a
look at them. That closeness, as
in your own relationship with the Lord, will produce a sense of safety and
confidence as he grows and develops.
Everhett won’t be strapped to you forever, so enjoy each phase as much
as you can and follow your natural instinct.
Dear I’m
tired…
Matthew
11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you
rest.”
Everyone
says, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
Personally, I never wanted to do that, even though I was exhausted,
because there were always chores to do and I didn’t want to use all my free
time to sleep. Hopefully, you will
be smarter than me and take that advice.
These moments would be a good time to utilize your friends and family
who want to help you. Allow them
to bring you a meal, do your laundry, or hold the baby while you take a
rest. Don’t clean before they come
over to help, that is why they are coming over, to do that cleaning or cooking
for you.
Dear I feel
inadequate…
2
Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for
my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more
gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”
You are
already a success in Christ. In
your weakness, He is made strong.
Let His power work through you when you feel like a failure. What you view as a failure, He might
see as an opportunity to shine His love down on Everhett and those around you.
Dear I want
my mom…
Proverbs
23:22 “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother
when she is old.”
The
parent child relationship is an example of the one between Christ and the
church. Even though your role
changes with your mother as you grown, marry, become a mom, etc., she doesn’t
stop being your mom. It is okay
and good to still want your mom’s support and encouragement. She has been through what you are about
to enter, so it is wise to seek her wisdom and experience. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your
mom as you learn how to be a mom yourself.
Dear
Everhett’s mom…
Psalm
139:13 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's
womb.”
You have
the honor of being the vessel God chose to create Everhett in, and soon, you
get to take care of him outside the womb.
I encourage you to start praying for him spiritually, physically and
emotionally, if you haven’t already.
The most valuable thing you can do for him is to grow in your own walk
with the Lord and pint him towards Christ. You have the most amazing and important role in his
life. You are going to know this
little man and spend the most time with him. Don’t leave the most important aspect of his life, his
relationship with Christ, to the hands of someone else. “Train up a child in
the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs
22:6. Nothing matters more on this
earth or can show him how much you love him more than caring for his spiritual
life.
Words of
advice:
“Babies are
not polite, they will let you know when they need something.” (My mom’s advice in response to “should
I wake the baby? She’s been
sleeping a long time.”) Babies
need a lot of sleep, they just went through a lot and their little bodies are
rapidly developing and changing.
“Have a cup
of tea, talk to a friend, and then get back to work.” (My Grandma’s advice for getting through the tasks of the
day) Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do
not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has
enough trouble of its own.”
